I can text with my tongue
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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