I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
