Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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