4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
