I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
