i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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