if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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