do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
