Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
