Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me