if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
