im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
