I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
