please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
