I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
did i walk over a car last night?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize
