you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
