literally had 100 drinks last night.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
