the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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