if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize