Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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