in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
