I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
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I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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