matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
