told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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