didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
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He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
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Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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