i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
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I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
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I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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