I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize