Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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