I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
