i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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