Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
