i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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