Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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