No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
