16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
