Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
