You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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