I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants