overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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