My sheets look like a crime scene.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
