I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
