S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
