apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
