In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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