what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
