We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My vagina just recognized that song.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize