she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
