When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
