Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
