I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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