i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
