she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
