my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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