What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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