Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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