Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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