your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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