You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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